February 13, 2015

A Few Thoughts on Fifty Shades of Grey.

We have all seen the flowers, the cards, the over-sized teddy bears and the pink Valentines Day decorations floating all throughout Target. We have been constantly reminded that this special day full of love is just a day away. Yet on the other side of things, we have seen the books, the trailers, the media talking and the out-pour of commotion from 50 Shades of Grey coming out this weekend. Let me start off by saying that I was really hesitant to create this post just for the simple fact that it is pretty controversial topic. I want my space to be a place of peace and happiness, but this is a topic that I really feel passionate about and well, this is also a place where I share my heart. 

Being a woman who is constantly growing in Christ, everything that I do revolves around Him. Everything I watch, everything I take action in, everything I allow myself to be surrounded by...but I do this so that I can give God the glory in every aspect of my life. My biggest goal is to teach others about the Good News of Christ. I am in the process of becoming a small group leader for teen girls at our church...which is so scary let me add...but my goal is to teach these girls how to grow up and live a life that God intends for us to have, to teach them how to guard their hearts and to teach them about some of the hardest topics like relationships, sex or intimacy. But lets be honest here, my heart needs to stay guarded as well because whatever I surround myself by is what will come out in my actions, speech, feelings, relationships, advice and so on.

My husband and I have been going through an older series that our church created called "Love Song." It is an 8 week series where our preacher got down to the nitty gritty. One thing that I adore about my church is that they talk, and they talk about it all. But the whole series was taught from the Song of Solomon and we see this couple, Solomon and a woman that he is madly in love with. We read about the honor this woman has for Solomon, the admiration that she carries for him...but in a respectable way. She knows her boundaries and he respects them. We read about Solomon who is a comforter to this woman. He encourages her and respects her for her character rather than her physical beauty. 

To sum up the very long series in a nutshell, romance is dangerous whenever it lacks honor. We are in a world where relationships are lacking respect for one another, where meaning is only physical. Sex is one of, if not the biggest joked and disrespected topics on almost every television show you watch. On top of that, the lack of respect for ones self is fading. Some women wear clothes allowing things to be seen that should be kept for their husband's eyes only. Some men just flat out do not show respectable actions towards women. We live in this world where instant satisfaction and worldly pleasures are at our fingertips. We can easily get online and search for pornography, we can easily go grab one of those dirty novels and create this vision of what our husbands are supposed to be like. There are affairs, lust and the list could go on and on.
Friends, that is where the problem is, sex does not have honor and today I wanted to share some quick reasons to why this movie should be skipped this weekend, and the weekends to come.  

It portrays sex as a demeaning, non-passionate act.
50 shades takes sex and creates it to be this game. It takes something so precious and turns it into a immoral, pornographic state. God designed sex to be beautiful and personal between a man and his wife. It is a way that love can be shown to one another in a pure way, not in a way that 50 Shades portrays. 

 It is characterized as a love story. 
Yall, this is not love. Love is not lead by sex, love is lead by honor and character. Am I saying the physical side is not important? Of course not, but love should not be generated on physical sides of things. In this movie we see a girl who develops feelings for a man, yet the man only wants sexual feelings for her. But, at the end of the movie, they both end up in love, go on to live happily ever after and this is what Hollywood wants you to see as a love story. This is not love in any way, shape or form. 

It is thought of as "helping a hurting marriage."
I cant count how many times I have read comments, tweets and posts about a wife or husband who believe they need this movie so their love life can be spiced again. No, no and no. This movie will do anything but help spice a romance, a healthy romance at least. Rather than turning to this movie in search for a new love, turn to Jesus and let him restrengthen your marriage. Because I can promise you this, He will change your marriage in a way that this movie could never, ever do.

 It makes pornography look normal. 
Without going into the hot topic of pornography, it is a problem that is spreading and spreading like a wild fire in our society. With the search engines we have and the access to them almost anywhere we go, it is so easy to get see. Plus, there is Hollywood constantly producing movies that say "it is okay", so, many think it is just the norm for us. Watching pornography is not a way to help a relationship, it is a way to do the complete opposite and ruin the relationship. Sex becomes something that it wasn't created to be. Pornography is harmful in so many ways and for information, please take a visit to this site.

It sets our hearts on anything but purity.
Philippians 4:8 reminds us "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
This movie creates a place of lust, guilt and a need to be wanted. But the problem is, this isn't the type of "want" that should be desired. When searching for a spouse, search with a feeling that isn't lead by the need to feel wanted or a desperation to be told you are loved. But search with a pure heart, guard your heart. Let me say this, if you are searching for a love so you can finally feel wanted, you need to stop searching. When we see movies such as this that portray a desire to feel wanted, we see how it escalates into a relationship all about sex rather than about love. I encourage you to first find your love in the Lord and He will lead you from there. 

So, there you have it. If you don't agree, that is fine. I'm not here to point a finger or tell anyone that they are wrong. That is not what Jesus would have done either. My goal is to tell others that there is a love out there that isn't like this "love" the movie tells you to have. There is a love that is so pure with our Almighty and our spouses. For you that are dating, keep your love sacred and wait until you call your other, your only for forever. I promise you, when Jesus is the cornerstone in your relationship, intimacy and love will be so strongly bonded that nothing will be able to come in between.


  1. I agree with all the points you make about this series!

  2. Good views Lauren and thank you for voicing your opinions. I feel the same way and am really saddened that this movie was even made and the millions of dollars spent all to continue to twist young minds into incorrect expectations and understandings.

  3. Those are some really great points. I really never planned on seeing this movie anyways.

  4. We where just talking about this last night... I hope that there are more positive conversations happening around these topics.

  5. I am honest, I read the books. I think everyone needs to know for themselves whether or not they should read it. For a long time I had lost my path in my Faith, after my mother passed when I was 13 my father didn't continue my moms standard of Faith and I have done things in my life I don't really want my daughter to do. Thanks to a good friend, she helped me find my way back.

  6. Right on target my dear. Couldn't have said it better myself. I am thrilled and encouraged to know there are actual women of God out there who know and speak the truth and aren't afraid to call out sin for what it truly is. You'd be surprised how many christian women I know who have either read the book or went to see the movie. (Stomach turns)

    xo Danica

  7. I tried to read this series, but due to the grammar errors in it I couldn't get beyond that. However, what I did read in the book turned me off. My husband is a controlling man by nature, but he has never made me feel like I wasn't able to say no. I love your viewpoints on this.

  8. These are all very valid points!

  9. I hope my daughter doesn't allow this romanticizing of sexual domestic abuse fool her into believing that you should ever allow yourself to be treated like Anastasia Steele. And that my sons don’t watch this one day and believe that it’s ever okay to intimidate, manipulate or disrespect a woman like the ‘hero,’ Christian Grey. Nobody, male or female, wants or deserves to be disrespected, manipulated or violated against his or her wishes.

    I hope, when the day comes that they're grown up enough to be in a relationship, that they will understand that what goes on behind bedroom doors should always be pleasurable for both, regardless of your tastes. I hope they will understand that consent given under duress isn’t consent at all. I hope they will demand respect and that they will give respect in return.

  10. I refused to watch this movie because it is basically pornography. This should not be the norm.