April 24, 2014

Wife Diaries // Vol. 1

Last night I pulled out the letters Sean and I wrote to one another on our wedding day. I will never forget reading this letter with the highest amount of joy and excitement. I was about to be his official wife. A dream I had since only a few short months after us dating.
Yes, I knew that early :)
As I was laying on the couch, I read this letter over and over again. 
Then I read my letter I wrote to Sean and I can tell how extremely excited I was. 
Major chees-er over here. 

After reading, I stopped to think about the whole idea of marriage. Some days I feel like it hits me harder and harder that we are actually married. Am I the only one who does this? I guess because we waited two and a half years after we were engaged to actually be married. So now that we are , it just seems so surreal sometimes. 

I often reflect on myself when it comes to being a wife. There are two passages in the bible that I adore and try to strive for. I want to be a wife that Christ instructs me to be. Not a nagging wife full of to do lists and not to do lists. Not a wife that controls the house and makes the calls. Not a wife that has little respect for my husband. That is so opposite of how a godly marriage should be. I dream to be a wife that is instructed in Proverbs 31: 10-31

10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praiseat the city gate.

...and I love love love Ephesians 5: 22-33 

22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I have always looked at these verses as instructions on how to be a wife. I am to submit to my husband in everything. I am to be his helper. I am to have nothing but love and respect for my husband. In a way I treasure both of these passages. I spent a lot of time in them before we were married but now I feel as if I need to spend more time in them than before. 

I will admit, marriage can be hard and some days its really tough. Marriage is basically a huge learning process. I have learned that I am SO selfish a lot of times. It is sometimes hard to submit when I have something else in mind. I have learned that it is important to put every single feeling on the table, never hold anything in. Communication is literally a huge key to a successful marriage and it is something I work on everyday. I had to transition from the times of only worrying about myself to worrying and caring for another human being. Also, I had to remember that nobody is perfect. I am by no means perfect, my husband is not perfect, nobody is perfect. I can't explain how important it is to never compare your husband to someone else's husband. Never say "he doesn't do this so he is not good enough." Who are we to try and claim anyone as not good enough? Luckily when we work together, marriage is absolutely beautiful and such a blessing from Christ. It is way better than I had ever imagined it to be. 

What are some of the things you strive to do as a wife?



  1. I love the phrase "Luckily when we work together, marriage is absolutely beautiful and such a blessing from Christ"
    Beautifully written Lauren!
    You have such a sweet heart to want to be a godly wife to your man!

    Marriage is so a blessing, and I am thankful that so many of my blogging girls are walking this newlywed path with me!
    Much love,

  2. love this and you and your heart. So grateful to see the Lord teaching so many of us the same things at the same time! :)

  3. You're not the only one! My husband and I also had a 2.5 year engagement so when we were finally married it didn't seem real! I'd find myself waking up next to him thinking "uh oh, we slipped" when in reality we were married! I love your heart and how honestly you speak about marriage- it is so tough sometimes, and I find myself being selfish and bitter but that's just more opportunity for the Holy Spirit to work in my heart!